I’m perplexed about what to think. I have more words to say than time allows. I’ll say this: I don’t like liars, but in this context hypocrites. You told me you’d wait, but not forever. I understood. It still feels, though, like an insult almost. I still feel somehow cheated. And to go that far? I know you’re honest, but it hurts a bit. I didn’t think I’d feel this way. And I thought that I may even get around to feeling the same curiosity that you are now, but I haven’t. Help me understand: what do you want of me? Oh, and I should be more independent thinking than I am right now. It shouldn’t bother me this much. But I won’t say it to your face.
Am I jealous? Yes, I think so.
Am I in control? No, probably not.
And am I satisfied? Definitely not. Not yet. I don’t know when I will be, or when I’ll be able to be as honest myself.
I had a good night, though, if that counts for anything.